Tag Archives: Creating Hope in Relationships

Empowering Relationships through Detachment

White Sands 2010

In the process of living, social dynamics are inevitable. When two individuals interact, challenges can ensue. These challenges often arise when expectations become apparent as a friendship or relationship develops. These expectations may be connected to a fear of either losing something they have or not getting something they want out of the relationship. Fear can then motivate each person to try and control the other person through manipulation. Manipulation may occur because one or both parties believes that control will result in the fulfillment of their expectations.

Although control and manipulation may temporarily force a solution, the long-term consequence of such a dynamic undermine and weaken the relationship.

In the event that these expectations are not satisfied, resentments may become an insidious factor in the relationship. If these resentments are not addressed, a power struggle may become an integral part of the relationship — as each person jockeys to have their expectations met. Passive-aggressive behaviors may then be used to side step being controlled or manipulated. The foundation of the relationship may begin to crack under the weight of such resentments and behavior. Consequently, apart from one or both parties using the principle of detachment, the relationship may eventually break and crumble.

Through being personally accountable and responsible for one’s expectation (s) and subsequent resentment (s), the relationship provides an environment where each person can learn about themselves. Self-discovery, self-reflection, self-realization and self-exploration then replace control and manipulation. As control and manipulation are replaced, with self-awareness and self-acceptance; a new setting is established where the individual and the relationship can be empowered. A setting that allows the individual to explore and give of themselves,  through a place of self-awareness, acceptance and respect.

Through growing in self-knowledge, awareness and self-respect, I then am able to give and show compassion to both myself and other people. As I show compassion, to both myself and other people, I am able to practice detachment. As I practice detachment, through compassion; I am able to give and receive with out expectation. As I give and receive with out expectation, I am free to learn from the relationship. My mind then remains open, instead of closed. As my mind remains open, to learn from and through the relationship; the relationship is empowered by mutual self-awareness, knowledge, acceptance and respect.

As each person with in the relationship remains accountable and responsible for themselves, empowering one another with in the relationship become a way of life.

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